


It's Lonely Without You

by TisUnfortunateThatTheyWrite



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: FUCK, M/M, i love them, smol gays, smol gays that look a bit like girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:25:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8830381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TisUnfortunateThatTheyWrite/pseuds/TisUnfortunateThatTheyWrite
Summary: Feliciano and Kiku have a heart to heart and it ends with happy smiles!





	

"Kiku?"

Feliciano called out into the darkness worried for his friend. Feliciano and Kiku had been attending a party that only Feliciano had been invited to. Feliciano brought him as a plus one in the hopes that he would be able to have some fun instead of being on his own.

However, Kiku had walked out of the party through the back door, and Feliciano had no idea where he had gone. He called out again, but no response came back.

"Tut, where is he?" He left the house and wandered into the night. The area was so big, he'd have thought Alfred was filthy rich from all the money it would take to get the place.

Feliciano continued to search for the small Japanese man. After wandering around in the dark he eventually found him at the edge of a lake, kneeling next to it.

"Kiku!" The Italian rushed over, a smile spread across his face, worry ceasing. "Oh my goodness, I was so worried, why did you walk off like that without telling me?!"

Kiku didn't respond. He only shuffled so that his legs were pressed against his belly.

"I don't want to talk about it." He replied quietly.

"Kiku please... please talk to me, I won't be able to understand if you don't open up and tell me what's wrong!" Feliciano looked at him desperately.

He sat down next to Kiku and put a hand on his shoulder, which was shrugged off coldly.

"You're not pushing me away this time. Just tell me, I won't stop bothering you until you do!"

"Why must you always pry open what's not yours to pry.."

"What..?"

Kiku glanced at Feliciano, something about his look was sad however.

"You always need to find out what's the matter. You never let me deal with it on my own. Feli, you really need to leave me alone when I need my space."

"... But.. I.." Feliciano retracted himself slightly, placing a hand to his chest. "I just.. I really want to help! I don't like the helpless feeling I get when you do this.."

"You don't like it? What about me Feli?" Kiku looked at his face again, his body seemed to shake slightly. "How do you think I feel when I see you acting like that with other people?"

Feliciano was taken aback slightly.

"I... I'm sorry I don't understand.. What do you mean 'acting like that'?" He asked.

Kiku didn't reply, in fact he still wouldn't look at Feliciano.

"Kiku, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything, I didn't mean to make you upset, I'm sorry I don't-"

"No. Stop it." A choked sob came out of Kiku's mouth, and Feliciano stayed silent as if waiting for more sobs to come. "Don't say that to me.." Kiku sobbed.

"I-, what-?"

"Stop, just.." Kiku couldn't stop crying, the tears and the sobbing unyielding.

Feliciano got closer to Kiku and hugged him into his body. He didn't know what else to do but to hold him close. Kiku sobbed in his arms and Feliciano stroked his back in slow circles, hoping to comfort him. Kiku gripped onto Feliciano's clothes tightly, "I'm sorry"s and "oh god"s escaping his mouth as he shook and cried. His tears were dampening his friend's clothes but he couldn't seem to stop. Gradually, however, Kiku willed himself to stop crying in his presence. When he had finally stopped they continued to hug, saying nothing to each other until Kiku sat up again, wiping his eyes, pure embarrassment spread across his face.

"Sorry Feliciano, I-"

"Please don't apologize." Feliciano said solemnly. He felt ashamed of himself, being the person that pushed Kiku to cry made him feel even worse than he did earlier.

"I.." Kiku rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his free hand discomfortingly. "I must explain myself.. to you.. at least."

Feliciano appeared as if he was going to retort but Kiku was about to be the most sincere he had ever been, and it would have been a wasted effort if he did not allow him the explanation. Feliciano nodded at Kiku when he finally looked up again, allowing him to continue.

"Alright.. Um.. I'll start with the party.

You know when you first invited me to go to Alfred's place I was excited. I really did like the idea of being able to come out and hang out with you and the others. But.. when we got there, you were whisked off and we had barely stepped through the door. I thought you'd be back after a few minutes so I made myself a drink and whatnot. But then you were taking a long time to return.. So of course I went looking for you.."

Kiku looked at Feliciano again.

"Are you following?"

"Uh- yes yes! I am, please continue!"

Kiku gulped looking out to the water in the lake.

"When I did finally find you, you were just hanging out with the others. Ludwig, Alfred, Matthew, Ivan.. The lot of them. But.. I don't know, you were enjoying yourself so much I didn't want to interrupt. You were smiling Feli.. You were smiling so much. Then you saw me and you were still smiling."

Kiku sighed for a moment allowing his composure to return. Retelling the story from his perspective was somewhat tiring. He continued..

"I didn't want to feel.. bad. But I did. I felt bad that you were enjoying yourself without me. That they got to see you smiling and I had to wait around for you.

I hated it, even when you kept coming back to check on me. You even asked me if I wanted to join you all and I declined, a stupid idea really. It was only when Ludwig came to talk to me did I really start hating the stupid party."

"Wait. What did Ludwig say to you Kiku?" Feliciano looked a little curious and a tad annoyed.

"Well he just told me that I should have come over to see you. To try and enjoy myself more. He was right, I was being really stupid, instead of joining you I decided being miserable was better."

In reality Ludwig had told Kiku that Feli wished he would come over. That Feli wanted to spend time with him but he was unsure as to whether or not he really wanted to see him anyway. It was that realization that Kiku realized what an effect he had on the Italian.

"So.. I left. I left the party because I'm selfish and that's it."

"Kiku.. if you had told me you didn't want to be there I would have gone home with you and we could have watched some TV shows together instead!"

"But that isn't fair Feliciano, restricting others from spending time with you?.. I couldn't do that to them. Not when your company is too precious to miss out on.." Kiku blushed he hated having to be so sincere but he didn't want to keep how he felt from Feliciano anymore.

"Kiku.. you.. I don't mean to continue prying but.. your word choice is.. I don't know, I know we're very close.. I just.. I really need to know.."

Kiku bit his lip, he was hoping it wouldn't come to this, because ultimately he was only going to embarrass himself even further.

"Do you.. have any feelings for me? I understand if you don't, I mean why would you, haha, but I was just curious.."

Kiku was silent for a moment, unsure how to word his answer exactly. But it came spluttering out anyway, his nervousness taking the wheel instead of his stability with words.

"I- I do! But I am not.. I don't know, Feli I just, I've developed something for a while now and today it was worse, but it was those feelings and the jealousy I suppose and it was too much Feli, I hate this!" He looked Feli in the eyes as he spoke, fear flashed through them as he finally confessed.

"I'm sorry I never said anything and I'm sorry that I do like you this way, but nothing has to change, I am okay with being friends or if you think it's weird then don't be friends with me anymore but please whatever happens I don't think I'll be able to take you knowing very well, and I can't handle the pressure of you knowing that I like you and that you think I'm weird or gross.."

When Kiku finally stopped and faced Feli he was met with a still stunned face that was glowing a soft red.

"Kiku, I could never be grossed out by you." Feliciano moved a hand up to Kiku's face and held it gently. "You always say 'it's not smart to relay your feelings onto others', but.. today it was!"

"What do you mean?"

"Silly. I mean that I can return your feelings! That I like you and I want to be in a relationship with you!"

Kiku smiled, although he didn't mean for it. Feliciano was so beautiful in his sincerity that sometimes Kiku would be lost in it.

"Kiku, if you'd like, um..." The Italian shyly looked at his hands which, unbeknownst to Kiku, had somehow wrapped themselves around his. "I wouldn't mind dating you, I think it would be nice to get to know you like that, differently. I understand if you don't want anything to change between us! But... I'd be lying if I said I didn't sometimes wonder what a romantic relationship between us.. would look like.." He smiled brightly, still looking away as if he couldn't bring himself to talk about his feelings with the Japanese.

Kiku looked at Feli in awe, he hadn't expected this exchange to go this way, nor did he think Feliciano would even want to date him.

"I don't.. know what to say!" Kiku looked worriedly at Feliciano when the Italian brought his eyes up to look at him. Kiku was afraid, very afraid. He wasn't used to anyone accepting his confession so quickly and he wasn't sure if that meant that Feliciano felt the same, or had done for a while. "I don't want to ruin what we have.. I don't want us to desperate one day and then we can't speak and I only hear about you from Lud or Alfie, I don't want that.."

Feliciano laughed for a moment, and he put one of his hands on his head, still holding Kiku's with his other.

"Carino, nothing can make me stay away from you." He said with a smile. "If the dating doesn't work out then we can stay friends. It doesn't need to be weird. I promise that I will stay here in the light for you always."

Kiku felt a warmth fill him, he was still incredibly nervous but Feliciano's willingness was part of what made him so lovely and Kiku again felt absolutely stunned by how rose-like he was. Feliciano opened up his arms and Kiku, not hesitating for a second, hugged him. Being one of the few people he could be open to touching in any way, he felt safe in the Italians arms, especially when he wrapped them around Kiku's body.

Safe and loved that's what Kiku wanted; loving and caring was what Feli gave. They stayed like that before they realized the time, but time, as with most couples, was lost on them.

**Author's Note:**

> In the end they would just be friends because although I love them, I think Kiku is far more likely to get with America, because of their mutual love for literally so many things.


End file.
